Argh...
At 11:04 AM on
Sunday, January 08, 2006
yes, my parents are beginning to nag of why have i not found a job yet blah blah.. sometimes just want to scream at them" i m working on it!" argh... jobs arent that easy to come by, my goodness. they think that i am not looking. never have they once seen me flipping through the classifieds? Never have they once seen me online looking at jobstreet? its beginning to get old, and frustrating, especially in the morning where my mum relished kicking me out of bed with the same old tone and words... give it a break! doesn mean everyone wakes up early, i must too! i happen to like sleep....i would admit, i am vry good in that hahahaah.... you can see that i am pissed with the lifestyle i am having now. my break should be over, i need a job to get away from parents' nagging and to keep my bank account alive. i have been dipping into my savings and its beginning to look dismal..uh oh...
another news, my dad has been transferred to Shanghai to another airline.. its like 80% confirmed. he will be going up in March this year.. my mum would visit him when its possible and next year, after my sister finishes PSLE, she might want to move up there too.. there will be lot of flying in this family, starting march. me? how am i affected by this? hmm.. we are used to dad flying but for him to stay there, and only coming back like twice in a month would take some time to get used to.
it s weird i always dreamed of my family migrating to somewhere, in my mind USA, Australia and somewhere where locals are bigger sized than me, and speak english... but now the dream is coming true, but not in the way i am thinking. i will be moving to somewhere pple are so much smaller than me, speak chinese when i dun really like it.. bad huh? me being a chinese and i am saying this. i m the type that our govt wants to retrain to like chinese.. but my results in school were horrible. barely passing type. i hated chinese then... my youngest sista would thrive there, she is the best in chinese... therefore she is excited.
if it was USA, Australia, or some english speaking, i would have jumped at the chance..but its an irony of how life works out in the end...but i am glad for my dad. he finally got the thing that he wants. i will be happy for him and see how things work out.
Shanghai is just booming, it will be good to the first few to go in first, first mover advantage... economics hahaha...still shanghai experiences 4 seasons.. hhahaha... my parents will go to shanghai during march to help my dad find an apartment and settle down.
Another advantage of my dad getting into this airline is that there is an education perk. he gets $5000 for his kids to go to school, that includes me til i turn 26 that is 2 years away. My parents asked me to take my masters with this money. I mean, i do have plans to do masters but not so soon and with not much working experience somemore and i do want to take it with him in another country. i mean its about 1 year, better than 4 years of uni and i had always wanted to experience at 3 months living in another country, but if thats the case, what i am asking him to do is to do his masters immediately after he grads, with no working experience and money to fund his. i know that he wants to find a job asap so that he can start contributing and not do something that takes money.after i told him, he asked himi to calculate the cost and we see how it will go. he's compromising already.i should too...
i shouldn be so selfish right to want this? i mean if i could give up going overseas to study my degree for him, i can do this too right? i know its the thing to do, but sometimes i feel my dreams all are not coming true... well dreams are dreams. reality is reality.it just needs some time to get over it. or maybe i can do this on my own. i told my parents and my dad cut out an advertisment on australia uni open day for me to take a look. see how. things are moving abit fast now.i mean suddenly i get this option to do my masters... earlier than expected due to the 26 year old deadline.sigh, another thing to think about.
i think after reading this entry, you would think" this karen ar, cannot live without bf issit?" ya everyone thinks that way. when they hear that i meet up with him everyday, they think that we will get sick of each other and its not good for the relaitonship. some of my frens meet only once a week andd they have been together for 6 years plus liao... longer than us. i think it depends on the couple right? if we think that we cannot live with each other, then its up to us to decide how often we want to meet up right?i rem a few pple thought that i was stupid to give up my overseas degree and settle for SIM for him, they say ": Karen, dun throw your future away cos of a guy" but i am glad i did. If not, we would not have such a strong foundation and i think if i left, we might not have come so far. If i went, i would have placed a huge strain on my dad's finances at that time... so everything worked out for the best. i got to be here for him, he got to be here for me as we went through life, my dad was relieved that i did not spend his retirement money(ha!) i got my degree, i got a job with that degree... so everything was ok.
talking about all this does nothing to make my mood bettter, going to pig out on Ben's & Jerry! massage sessions going down the drain....
Rain has stopped but still on a gloomy note... Kisses,
fifteenmay