[[theBLOG]]
At 11:41 PM on
Saturday, August 12, 2006
i am feeling drained now. How would you feel when you are told that you are FAT in your face? How would you feel if it is your bf's grandma and mum? I really feel a lump in my throat when it happened. i cant say anything cos they are my bf's family, i cany cry cos they are just there. so al i can do is swallow my tears. i have to give dear credit when he did try to protect me and rebuke them.But i felt ..... hurt. Hurt that i even thinkg that i really cant fit in to this family. They are Chinese /Hakka Speaking, i am supposedly the " yang ren" who eats western food every meal and do not use chopsticks. I m the one who cant even have a full conversation with them without needing dear to help me.I really wanted an in law family who i can relate to, can speak to and for them to like me too. all i can say when i see them is to greet them with one sentence. And guess what, they got someone to compare me to.Dear's Bro Gf who can speak perfect chinese and can relate... i dunnoe how i got the nickname yang ren, and i really dunnoe how to react.
i feel very sore and hurt inside and how to get rid of it? I love dear and cant imagine being without him but marrying him is marrying two families. i have no illusion that it would be easy bringing 2 families together and having in laws. i see relationships sour between in laws and i will always have that fear that my family will be like that too. i have seen and heard from my mum never to stay with your in laws... and i agree. i believe that distance can prevent problems from cropping up. Dear understands and i am real glad that he can see where i stand.
Am i too sensitive? Should i just shake it off? Should i be spurred to do something about my stupid weight? Should i even care that my future in laws just made me feel so bad abt myself?
Kisses,
fifteenmay
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