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At 1:43 PM on Monday, September 10, 2007

to everyone who reads my blog, i am sorry for not updating for so long. So many things have happened and i was no mood to blog about it. work life hasn been pleasant recently, actually since my lady boss came in. She has pretty high expectations and apparently i cannot meet them. She has been pulling me almost daily in for pep talks telling me that there is no job fit and i should really think about my future whether is this where i want to be in and it really demoralise me and even caused me to lose sleep and lose interest in eating. Finally, after weeks of agony, i decided to either quit or find a new position within the company. I believe that when you started to fear to go to work, its time for a change. no use working in a place where every sunday you wake up fearing tomorrow. therefore, i spoke to my guy boss and told him about my plans. He is not surprised and will assist me with the internal job posting. surprisingly, after i spoke about my intentions, i felt free and refreshed knowing that there is a end to this sadness and stress that i have been feeling.

Frankly speaking, i have the yi yi bu she feeling of leaving UBS. i mean, the benefits are good, the team support is pretty good and the job scope, though tedious and admin based, i could do it. i thought that i could stay in this company for at least 2 years. however, fate has another thoughts for my future and now i have to update my resume and start the job search again. Also i am not happy anymore and there is no spring in my step anymore.

Mostly, i wonder how did i, from a person that my guy boss rely on and praise before come to this point where i am losing my focus and not meeting his expectations.how focused must i be? how am i not meeting their expectations? all the pep talks are all fluffy talk and i cannot get to what they want from me. i did try to improve but apparently, it is not in my character and it still wasnt enuff. I am quite disappointed with how this has turned out as my guy boss has changed. Apparently, he and my lady boss are so tight with each other now that he is singing her same tune. Aiya, no point crying over split milk. i have to look forward.no point badmouthing one boss to another. its no use....

i got to thinking that is it me where the problem lies or is it just the job fit? i m definitely not strong in the admin aspect and this has been proven that it is my stumbling block for the past 2 job experience. but what kind of job does not have admin? what kind of job suits me? i really duno. it s causing me to doubt myself.

still,i have to look forward.....


" I am at a crossroad in my life"

Kisses,
fifteenmay

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